The past year has been nothing but a wildly unpredictable roller coaster. As a recent newlywed, I saw the world through ice cream and bubble gum filled glasses, until one day my glasses turned clear and life sent me spiraling out of control back to old unhealthy patterns.
I’ve been struggling quite a bit over this past year as my husband and I can’t seem to find common ground on if we will expand our family. He has a 15 year old daughter and I have no biological children. If that was not challenging enough, I then learned that I have fibroid tumors and may also have endometriosis. I’ve been experiencing a whole host of symptoms and pain related to these reproductive concerns.
All the while, my husband still holds fast to the fact that he truly does not desire to have more children, even though my chances may be minimized or more difficult due to endometriosis and fibroid tumors and he sees the pain and tears in my eyes on a daily basis.
As a result of all of the chaos, I found myself engaging in irrational, self-soothing, and unhealthy habits. I resorted to comfort emotional eating. I ate my feelings of disappointment, rage, sadness, resentment, discouragement, frustration, fear, and on and on and on.
There were many days that I could not get out of bed. Days where the only productive thing I could do was take a shower, put on new pajamas, then return to bed going back and forth between sleeping and crying. I hadn’t been that low in such a long time. I knew I had to do something and fast.
I’ve been working with a therapist for the past three months, and I feel like I’m starting to get back on solid ground. It’s a struggle every day. The fact of the matter is that we all fall and need help building ourselves back up again; even the therapist specializing in eating disorders. After all, the therapist is just as human as anyone.
The take away is that eating disorders can be life-long issues. But recovery, and seeking out help when that recovery is weakened, is always the path back to happiness.
By Courtney Thomas, LCPC at The Body Image Therapy Center. If you would like to get in touch with Courtney please call 443-602-6515 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.