We are not born as with self-hate, imperfection, and lack of confidence. These develop over time because of life experience. We are not what we have become; we are what we have always been. The oldest part of ourselves—the origin of our humanity is in this childlike form, where we simply can exist and accept ourselves as beings that simply are.
Genuine self-love can feel disingenuous, forced, and foreign. Why? Because change is hard. This is to be expected, because we live most of our life fighting against this natural state of self-love. Consider this following example …
You are alone in woods inside an old log cabin during a winter storm with snow piling steadily up to the windows. You have food and water, but there is no heat and you start to shiver uncontrollably. There is no fire, firewood, matches, or let alone electricity for a heater. You could choose to leave the cabin and look for firewood or some supplies to somehow generate heat but you would also have to fight the weather in addition to the frosty air. But there’s also another option. There’s an old sweater tucked away in a drawer in the nightstand. Leaving the cabin to find firewood seems like a logical option, because it provides a quick result. But firewood doesn’t last forever, and you’ll soon find yourself searching for more. However, the old sweater is right there inside the drawer. It doesn’t require replenishment in order to heat. It forces you to sit with the uncomfortable feeling of being cold for a while longer, but you eventually warm. The heat generates from within and allows your body to restore itself naturally. Looking for heat sources outside of the cabin will leave you on an endless journey.
The oldest part of ourselves is the sweater. Self-love is the heat. We feel uncomfortable for a longer period when searching within ourselves, but the warmth felt is not temporal; it stays with you.