As 2015 comes to an end, I’ve done some reflecting. If you follow TBITC blogs on a regular basis, you may already know that this past year has been a trying one for me. I’ve adjusted to life as a newlywed, been faced with an intense struggle with depression, relapse in unhealthy and maladaptive coping strategies, cried about the struggle of knowing my husband does not want more children as badly as I do, diagnosed with fibroids and endometriosis …. Shall I go on?
To the least, 2015 has been a year full of transition, disappointment, joy, heartache, blessings, and self-exploration. I don’t have it all figured out. There, I said it. I’m a 30-something year old woman, and I have no idea what the heck I’m doing. Whose bright idea was it to let me adult?
In my early 20s I thought I’d get married at 25, kids by 28, all the while I’d have a great career with so much financial security. Yea, none of that happened, at least not in that exact timeline. And this year has finally taught me to just surrender. It’s okay that I’m 30 something and have no freaking idea what I’m doing; I’m finding that most people my age – even individuals who are older than me – don’t have it all figured out just yet. That’s the beauty of life; every day and every year, life itself is a journey and a learning opportunity.
This year has helped me realize and accept that I can’t do it all, I can’t have it all (at least not necessarily wrapped up and in a bow exactly how I want it to be), and I’m ok. I’m enough, whatever that means to me on any given day and/or any given moment.
So, goodbye 2015, and thank you for contributing to my battle wounds as well as adding to my wisdom. 2016…BRING IT ON!
By Courtney Hill, LCPC, Adjunct Supervisor at The Body Image Therapy Center. If you would like to get in touch with Courtney please call (877-674-2843) or email firstname.lastname@example.org.